Raising the Funds
by The Flying Lion
Summary: The Smashville Mansion is low on funding leading to Master Hand to set it's residents to raise money in order to keep their lodging. But what hairbrained schemes will each Smasher take and what mayhem will inevitably ensue when these usual gaming heroes have to face something bigger than what they know: employment.
1. Chapter 1

"Snake... is something wrong?" Samus asked across the table she was eating breakfast at. Sitting with his face down the usual stoic Solid Snake looked down and sluggish with shoulders low.

"Yeah Snake you don't look too good. You won't even eat your bacon." Lucario said next to his famed heroic compadre. This statement caused several smashers that currently occupied the Smashville Mansion to raise their heads. For you see Snake dearly enjoyed his breakfast bacon when he could have it since usually he had to eat rations or in some cases catch his own food.

So then... what made the famous soldier of fortune so down as to not eat a rare delicacy such as bacon?

Snake lifted his head up glancing at both Samus and Lucario. "It's _V_."

"V?" Samus said allowed.

"The show about aliens?" Meta Knight said.

"The one with that bald chick right?" Ike said shuddering at the memory.

"No not that V, _Metal Gear Solid V: the Phantom Pain._" Snake clarified.

"Oh you mean five right. Yeah congrats on making it this far after 25 years." Samus said drinking her breakfast juice. That was when Snake stood with one foot on the table shaking some of the breakfastes there.

"No that's not it! I'm not the main character this time!"

Most of the smashers in the room chattered about this in confusion. Samus annoyed wiped off some of the juice that spilled on her shorts while Ike stood up.

"Wait but they said 'SNAKE IS BACK' so you are in the game right?"

"No... they mean Naked Snake aka Big Boss, my dad." Snake clarified again.

"He's naked?" Pit scratched his head.

Some of the other smashers mumbled about this as Snake sat down crossing his arms.

"Oh yeah you're not always the main protagonist in your games. Raiden was the protagonist of _Sons of Liberty_ and your dad was the one for _Snake Eater_." Lucario brought up for those that were not aware.

"You know quite a bit about his game Lucario." Fox brought up with a raised brow.

"Google."

Snake grumbled. "Raiden was even in Playstation Allstars. All I got was a cameo as a wooden sword in _Metal Gear Rising_."

"Hey it's not that bad. At least you weren't killed off." Ike said patting Snake's back.

"Did you not hear about _Guns of the Patriots_?" Snake asked. Ike recoiled his hand as the merc sent him an angry glare.

"Wait Snake if that happened then how are you here now?" Lucario asked.

"Lucario how are you here after _Mystery of Mew_?" Snake retorted.

Lucario raised a brow. "Touche."

"So what if you're not in the game. At least you can take a break for a change. Unlike Mario who has to be in every single new random title ." Samus brought up directing her attention to Mario's seat where he was currently absent.

Meanwhile at Nintendo headquarters...

"I cannot stand this! I need a-vacation a-now!" Mario yelled inside the gamers studio.

"But Mario-san, we're making _Super Mario Sunshine Kart Galaxy 7_! We need you!" Behind a glass wall Shigeru Miyamoto called out from a speaker.

"Why isn't Luigi here a-then?" Mario asked.

"Why would he be here?" Miyamoto countered.

Back at the Mansion Snake pouted with his face laying on the breakfast table.

"I just kinda miss the spotlight. I mean now everyone likes Big Boss more than me calling me just a clone of the REAL hero."

Samus sighed rubbing the bridge of her nose. "...come on. At least you didn't have to endure _Metroid: Other M_."

To this several of the Smashers nodded or said yes in approval. Lucario however raised a brow.

'_Was I the only one that liked Other M?_'

Then suddenly out of the very fabric of space a bright light flashed before the smashers. Many ducked and fell over while Samus merely stood her ground. Appearing from nothing but cackling madly and twitching was none other than Crazy Hand.

"Waaaaaaaas up!?"

Crazy hovered above the smashers who were now either on the ground or huddled above one another.

Samus with an annoyed frown pulled Snake off of her glancing at the hand.

"What is it this time Crazy?"

"What! Why don't you think I just wanted to show up to say hi? C'mon I thought we were friends!" Crazy Hand said floating about wildly.

"But the only time you ever come to talk to us is when Master Hand wants us to do something." Marth pointed out.

"Or if you want to involve us in a crazy scheme." Link added.

"How are you talking again?" Zelda asked suspiciously to Link.

The Crazy Hand sighed lowering his fingers. "Fine... Master Hand wants to see you guys in his office. It's important."

The Hand then disappeared in the blink of an eye leaving the Smashers where they were in the dining hall.

"Well... so much for peace and relaxation." Lucario said chewing on a muffin.

* * *

**FlyingLion:**

**So as I've neglected myself on **_**Lighter Days **_**I decided to do this, an idea I've had for a while somewhat related to **_**Lighter Days **_**and **_**Camp Out**_**. Some jokes do break the fourth wall and also reference elements I've seen of Smash Bros fics I've read before and other things like flash animation projects and whatnot.**

**There's no pairings here even though I am a Snake x Samus fan. this is just merely funnies for the sake of funnies. If you like it great, and tune in for more. If not... well at least give it a try.**


	2. Chapter 2

After breakfast was over the majority of the Smashers all headed over to the office of the infamous Master Hand. It was located in the Mansion's East Wing where also most of the recreational areas like the library and game room were. Usually the master of the mansion resided in this office and would call for any individual to come in for something important. In this case though it would be the first time nearly everyone as a whole group came in together.

Walking in Link led everyone opening the front double door entering the oval shaped office. The large being Master Hand was... floating, above the space where a chair would be in front of his desk before greeting the Smashers.

"Ah! There you all are, I see Crazy informed you of my message?"

Most of the Smashers stood fine in the office but mostly crowded together in front of Master Hand's desk. Before anyone else could respond to Master Hand Ike spoke up.

"Yeah we got the message. What do you want Hand?" the swordsman crossed his arms.

"I'm glad you asked _Dwight_." Master Hand floated over to a chart on the other side of the office before Ike could question the nickname. The Hand then unveiled a graph with a line rising up and down.

"Currently the funds for the Mansion are dropping. Since we still don't know when the next game will come out we have to rely on our own to replenish our funds."

Most of the group stared plexed at the Hand. The floating being sighed before clarifying.

"Money is low. We need to make more or _they _will evict us."

Now the Smashers heads raised up in understanding while others nodded in agreement. Pit waved his hand around impatiently several times which did not go unnoticed by the Hand.

"Yes Pit?"

"What do you mean 'they' will evict us? Who's 'they'?" Pit asked.

This caused several of the Smashers to also blink and realize they too didn't know who these 'they' were. The Hand scratched his... inner palm, before responding.

"Ah yes, they would be our sponsors. You know, the United Nations and Nintendo of Japan."

"We're sponsored by the UN?" Snake asked. Out of all the people here he the most 'normal', that being an ordinary human, should have been aware of this.

"But of course!" Hand twirling around. "After all do you really think the entire sales of each of your video game franchises alone could pay for _all_ your expenses here at the mansion?"

This actually got several of the Smashers to think back on just how much stuff they had at the mansion. Not to mention the free rooms they had access to a library, swimming pool, medical facility, baths/showers, free food-which strangely all was from the Smasher's respective worlds and suited their respective tastes- plus parking garage and access to high tech transporters. It now dawned that the Mansion had to have some sort of funding from somewhere.

"You see freeloaders-I mean residents," Master Hand cleared his... means of speaking. "Until we can get a concrete release date for the next big crossover game money is lower and right now your respective owners won't be able to support your lodging. So you each need to earn money by the sweat of your brow!"

"Is that it or do the creators feel like holding onto their cash?" Ike asked skeptically.

"_Maybe!_" Master Hand offered no counter.

"Well this is great... I'm broke." Snake said arms crossed.

"What are we gonna do!?" Lucas said nervously.

"We'll figure out something..." Samus offered unfazed.

"If you want to collaborate together you all can try but until then good luck. Oh and Luigi..." Master Hand motioned to the Super Mario brother.

"Ah! When did he get here!?" Snake said realizing the green clothed plumber had been standing next to him.

"I've been here the whole time!" Luigi said annoyed.

"My dearest Luigi Mario, you've been confirmed to be in the next game! But we still don't know when it's coming out, so there you have it. You still have a job with us!" Master Hand congratulated the green plumber.

'His last name is _Mario_?' Lucario wondered confused.

'Must be weird at reunions.' Marth thought.

"Now my residents... DISMISSED!" The Hand announced with his voice carrying out through the room.

The Smashers each left unsure whether to comment on that at all.

_Later~_

"All right then this better be important!" Ike slammed his hands down onto the makeshift desk. He had just stepped into Lucario's room and taken a seat on the ground right next to his comrade Marth and the other four Smashers Link, Zelda, Solid Snake, and Samus Aran.

Lucario himself, who was seated on his mattress, opened one eye before blinking several moments. The six humanoid Smashers glanced at the Pokémon while he scratched the back of his head.

"Um... why are you all in my room?"

"I called them here for a meeting Luc!" Snake offered stepping up.

"But why in my room?" Lucario asked.

"This meeting is to figure out what to do to raise up our funds!" Snake declared the point of the gathering. Though annoyed with being ignored Lucario sighed in defeat taking a spot next to his fellow Smashers.

"So do you have a plan then Snake?" Link asked. The mercenary of fortune sat back down legs crossed facing the Hyrulian.

"Actually... I thought you guys could brainstorm something."

The rest of the gang-minus Samus who sort of saw it coming-sighed. Snake still held a serious gaze with his hands resting on his knees facing the gang. Clearly he was awaiting for one of them to respond.

"...would if we just look for jobs?" Marth offered.

"How do we do that? We're videogame characters, do you seriously think they'll take us seriously if we say '_Im Link I want a job_!'?"

"They took me seriously at the Library."

All heads turned towards Lucario who remained fixed where he was. The Pokemon of Aura raised a brow at them while they kept their stares.

"You got a job?" Snake asked confused.

"Yes. You fill out an application, get an interview, and then you wait till they give you a call. It's not that hard." Lucario explained.

"They didn't laugh at you at the interview?" Ike asked. Lucario shook his head.

"Well it went sort of like..."

"_Hm... I see, Lucario, your resume is flawless! But why are you interested in working for our library, you seem to be over qualified." The elderly librarian asked. Lucario, seated across from her wearing a suit and tie folded his paws together._

"_I need to raise money to stay at the mansion. Master Hand will kick us all out." _

"_Oh... well, you are such a gentlemen. I don't see why we can't hire you!"_

"...and that's how it happened." Lucario finished.

"What did you put on the resume?" Marth asked. This made the others also wonder not really knowing that the Pokémon ever had any jobs at all before.

"Oh you know... Aura Guardian, Pokémon, Fry cook, busboy, janitor, world war veteran, security guard, and Smasher."

The rest of the gang blinked. Lucario raised his brow again at their wondered expressions.

"What?"

"There's a lot we don't know about you is there Lucario?" Zelda finally said.

"Or you made up half of that up." Snake said with a grunt.

"I'll let you choose what to believe." Lucario leaned back on his bed turning away from the rest of the gang.

* * *

**TheFlyingLion:**

**For the record Master Hand calls Ike "Dwight" in reference to US President Dwight Eisenhower. There was a famous phrase people would say which was "I Like Ike" during the Cold War period and Master Hand is kinda calling Ike that in a reverse reference.**

**The beginning with Master Hand kind of addressing the financial problems was kind of difficult for me I'll admit. Mostly though it was trying to make it humorous but also jump start where everyone has to begin the task of raising money. I think though I accomplished it more with Snake bringing several of the Smashers together. He's a bit goofy too but in Smash Bros it works well for him cause he does get that goofy sometimes.**


End file.
